As a parent of young children, I was a Mom who enjoyed taking our sons out and about. When they were toddlers, we trekked out to a library some distance from our home for the weekly story hour. We tried swimming lessons which didn’t go all that well. Francis and I did do a cooking class when he was two. And to this day we still use the kid corn casserole recipe every Thanskgiving. I still have the original splattered copy.
In spring and summer, we went playground exploring. We loved our near-by park playground just two blocks away (rating-wise it would be a Budget Inn one star) but when we needed an adventure we went west.
We found this sort of Hilton five-star playground way out on Manchester. Pretty neat. I sat on the side close enough to see our sons but far enough away to allow them to go off exploring and climbing. Some other kids were there playing. They asked our kids if they wanted to play tag. So, they did. Our guys were about four and six, as I recall. So, they are running around trying to catch each other and I hear one of the other boys holler, “The Chinese kid is IT.” Sooooo, I said to myself, “That would be mine.” Until that day, I never ever thought about how our sons looked. They were just our sons.
I realized then that when you love someone, you just love them. You don’t see them with a certain skin color, eye shape or a limited gait, or whatever others would notice. They’re yours and you love them, “in toto.”
It made me think of the Dad of whom I spoke last month, who loves his child, in toto, and attending to the particular emotional/physical needs is part of the love covenant.
Or friends of ours who have a daughter with Downs Syndrome. I never think of Mary E.as a person who has Downs Syndrome. I think of Mary E. as a beautiful young woman with impeccable language skills (her Mom is an English teacher and editor), always dressed as a mature young woman, with sparkling manners.
That is how God loves us, “in toto,” as we are. Our embracing and loving our children or other loved ones in our lives “in toto” is a reflection of God’s love; for each one of us regardless of skin color, physicality, or cultural norms. We are just loved into being. That’s what Moms and Grandmothers and Aunts and Godmothers and all those women who bring love into our world do, they love “in toto.” All those maternal (or paternal) gazes are a reflection of God’s Love.
A special thank you to you, blog readers, of whatever gender, for the LOVE that each of you bring into our world.
Bridget
P.S. And let us pray for those young or old who have not or did not grow up with that maternal/paternal gaze of love in their lives.
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